Losing Lily (A Finding Lily Prequel) by Rachel Del

Author:Rachel Del
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: contemporary romance, inspirational romance, contemporary romance series, divorce fiction, inspirational romance novels, contemporary romance divorce, inspirational contemporary romance, inspirational divorce fiction, womens fiction divorce, womens romance fiction divorce

Five

Thomas

The fourth time I found myself in Clare’s bed I knew two things to be true. First, t she had been right that first time around: we were unfinished. And second, I was in serious trouble.

Something about Clare felt safe. Familiar. Easy. I knew that if I let myself, I could easily slip back into my old life with her, knowing that it would fit just like a pair of comfy slippers. She knew the real me; she had been there first, and knew what she was getting into when she had accepted my proposal.

I had thought that Lily, too, had understood, but it didn’t take long for me to realize my mistake.

Lily had no idea.

She hadn’t known the kind of man I was.

She hadn’t known what would be expected of her.

She hadn’t known where my priorities lay.

And as I looked over at Clare’s naked form that day I thought for the first time: this marriage isn’t going to work.

It wasn’t about Clare. It never was. It was and always would be about me.

“It’s funny,” Clare said suddenly, tearing me from my thoughts, “I would have thought that Lily was exactly the type of woman who ultimately, could make you happy.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” I said, but she continued on.

“You don’t even know why I left, do you? Why I called off our engagement?” she said. She pulled the blankets around her body and leaned against the headboard. “You were – and still are – a great man, but I knew that I could never make you happy. I was too much for you.”

She paused, gauging my reaction, continuing when I said and did nothing.

“You needed someone softer. Someone kinder. Someone who possessed at least one maternal bone in her body. I learned early on that I was never going to be that person for you.”

“And so you left.”

“And so I left.”

I was quiet for a few moments before speaking again. “If it’s going to work with anyone, it will be with her.”

“Then what are you doing here?” she said.

I went home, showered Clare off of me and climbed into bed next to Lily’s sleeping body, scared by all that I was feeling...and all that I was not.

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